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My Inner Evolution

experience

People treated me badly.
They bullied me, ignored me, rejected me.
At that time, I felt like harming them back. I used to feel angry, cold, disconnected.
But somehow, even after hurting, I felt more pain inside.

So I started questioning.
“Why am I like this?”
“Why do they act like that?”
“Why do I feel this much pain when I hurt back?”

And slowly… I began observing.
Not them.
Myself.
My thoughts. My reactions. My desires. My inner world.

That’s when things changed.

I didn’t find answers in books or people. I found it through watching my own mind.
I started seeing how even the smallest creature wants to live — the ants, the mosquitoes, the plants, the trees.

I started caring.
Then loving.
Then feeling satisfied — like really, deeply fulfilled — just by being compassionate.

I stopped killing anything.
I turned vegetarian.
Whenever I cut a tree or a plant to feed myself, I say sorry to the universe and the beings that depended on that tree.
Not because I read it somewhere — but because I feel it.

I started experimenting more with compassion.
How it changes me.
How it creates peace.
How it makes me feel like I belong to the whole universe — not separate from it.

This is not some philosophy I read.
This is who I became — step by step, pain by pain, observation by observation.

I didn’t escape darkness.
I observed it.
And through that, I transformed.

Now, I walk as someone who may have once wanted to harm…
but now protects even the tiniest life.

That’s my story.
And I’m still writing it — every single day.


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